Addendum to Recent Travelogue

Airport security. Oxymoron? (Or just moronic?)

Two highlights:

1) When passing through the metal detector, I set it off. Rather, the contents of my pocket did. When the culprit items were revealed, I think the TSA agent was more surprised than I was. Hint: I got them at a BBQ. Give up? Fine, I'll tell you: moist towelettes enclosed in a foil-lined wrapper. Imagine if "the terrorists" had OCD--we'd be safe!

2) Bleary-eyed in the pre-dawn hours, I neglected to remove a bottle of H20 from my carry-on item. As taxpayers may hope, the TSA team identified that there was an excess of 3 oz. of liquid in a single container without even opening my backpack! (For my next trick...) This lead to me getting "special attention" and pedantically grilled about my awareness of the liquid restriction regulations. I confessed my awareness and its unfortunate lapse. I asked if I could drink the water prior to proceeding through the rest of security, but I was informed that if I attempted to I would have to proceed through the screening process yet again. This struck me as weird, but unworthy of fighting with a drone about. Immediately, I thought to myself "okay, if I'm a terrorist, I just need to conceal liquid explosives in my bodily cavities rather than in my backpack." Later, it occured to me that I was being punished for breaking the rules. And, as punishments go, having some tap water confiscated by a blonde lady at 4:30 am was not all that harsh. It also revealed my sense of entitlement; I expect to be able to bring water from place to place...and to flaunt Federal regulations with impunity. In this, I have never felt more American!